You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
