I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
