He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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