just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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