she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I woke up under a house in Key West
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
