not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
