it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
