But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
