I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
