this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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