i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
