dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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