nut hugger
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
