the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
