yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
