wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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