i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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