Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
