DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
