This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
