Nicole vs. Life
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
