I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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