"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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