i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
