i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
