they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize