I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The air taste purple.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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