It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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