areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
