Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
