Me too!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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