i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
