'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
