I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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