Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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