People in love make me want to vomit
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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