My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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