69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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