So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
