yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
