We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
