Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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