You're completely useless in the revolution.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
