i may or may not be watching the land before time
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
