why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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