Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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