i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
