My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
