Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
