Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
