So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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