Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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