so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
and you said cock pushups were impossible
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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