Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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