Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
