spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
