Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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