My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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