I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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