1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
they're like a gay fantastic four
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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