I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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