haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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