This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
either way he was missing a nipple.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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